As a woman it can be very hard to date. Especially in this modern era where guys have so much access to women via Tinder, OkCupid, and other sources. As a dating consultant for both men and women, I’ve heard both sides of the story.
My tips are meant to help you take control of your dating life and empower yourself as a woman.
10) Be Playful
Guys love girls that they can joke around with. Most guys want girls who don’t take themselves too seriously because this makes guys more comfortable. Start giving guys a few playful punches to the arm, a tussling of the hair, a poke in the waist, etc. Knowing how to playfully flirt and how to use a sarcastic tone well is very key in developing a fun personality that will cause guys to feel attraction for you. If you can take a playful insult and maybe deliver a few playful insults of your own, you’ll be well on your way to magnetize men.
The problem is that most women aren’t willing to take chances in this department. They’re too “lady-like” and “polite.” Forget about all that. Men love a woman who knows how to exude a playful vibe. You know how humor is the way to a woman’s heart? Well it’s the same for men.
9) Smell Good
Your breath and your perfume are absolutely crucial. Bad breath on girls is probably one of the biggest things that can completely turn off a man and I’ve had a lot of prior experience. Body odor is just as bad. Although it sounds cliched that I’m telling you to keep your breath fresh and your perfume handy, this is actually a very important aspect of your hygiene that you need to MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE YOU CONTROL. I once met a really cute girl but once I smelled her absolutely RANCID breath I just cringed and got out of that situation.
You have a purse, so use it! Keep breath mints and gum handy, and furthermore always brush your teeth and tongue very well anytime you’re about to meet a guy. I also like to keep a box of gum/tic-tacs by the bed handy so that when you wake up with your man you can have some very enjoyable morning sex.
8) Be Feisty
Feisty girls are girls that don’t let guys take control of them. Guys love what they can’t have easily, and having a little bit of fesity attitude helps. Of course you’ve got to gauge the guy, because there are some guys who absolutely hate feistiness. Most of these guys have some kind of issues with self-esteem or control, and thus, probably not worth your time. Do not let him have what he wants ALL the time; instead show him that you are going to make some choices.
However, DO NOT be domineering or try to be the boss (unless your guy is into that). Men need a certain level of control and they need to validate themselves as manly men. So to emasculate him would not be a good way to make him think you’re a keeper.
7) Look Good
Guys are very unlike girls. A majority of our attraction comes from how a girl looks. Some of you may be thinking, “But what if I don’t already look good?”
There’s hope for you ladies. Unlike guys, you have makeup and clothes that help A LOT. I’ve seen time and time again that makeup can completely reinvent a person’s look. Invest a little money and time on learning how to dress well + plus look good. Get that gym membership and start dieting if you’re not happy with your body. Essentially what I’m asking you to do is become the best you that you can be. Even if you weren’t born a super model, you can still improve your appearance a lot.
Especially in this modern “Instagram” era, a nice butt can make a guy go crazy. I know plenty of my guy friends that will assign higher value to a girl that has an amazing ass. Keep that in mind.
6) Teach / show him something
It is very attractive if a girl can teach something well, especially if it’s something that may interest us. For example, if you can teach a musical instrument, an art (like painting or photography), or a sport (think female-oriented sports like tennis and volleyball). This also allows for you two to have a new mutual interest and mutual activity. If you don’t have anything that you could teach, you also should think about evaluating your life. Do you have a well-balanced life full of interesting things or are you boring and one-dimensional?
When I date a girl that can open up my horizons that is very attractive. If you’re the type of girl that doesn’t have many interests or hobbies, then you need to start expanding your world. Ask yourself, “What are my interests?” and “Do I have any interesting hobbies?” The more of these activities that you have the more you’ll be able to teach.
5) Be Interesting
Men can’t be expected to always keep a conversation going, so you’re going to have to spur the conversation. Have a few interesting topics to talk about. This also goes back into #4 where I told you to expand your horizons. When a woman can be incredibly interesting, men will be attracted despite what the woman looks like. Being interesting also includes your lifestyle. Having more interests and being a well-rounded person will help you to be more interesting and therefore help you to attract men.
It’s also very attractive when the girl I’m talking to loves a few “guy” things, such as sports or video games. If you can hold your own in those activities you will attract tons more men.
4) Play a Little Hard to Get
As mentioned prior, men love what they can’t have. So when you display to him that you have several options, then this really makes him want you. This is akin to playing hard-to-get, however, you do need to show interest because many men will move on if they don’t feel like they’ve planted a seed of interest in you. This means flirt with him, but also let him know that you have other men in your life that can easily sweep you away if he doesn’t act.
3) Don’t congregate in crowds
This tip is mostly for the ladies that like to go clubbing a lot to find men. If you want to be approachable, don’t go with too many other women. Being with 3 girls or with some guy-friends makes it very nerve-racking for guys to approach.Guys love to approach 2-women groups and single people especially. If you do go with a few friends, make sure you have time to separate yourself and maybe go chill by the bar for a little bit. Or just sit down somewhere by yourself or with 1 girlfriend for a little bit.
2) Initiate
Don’t be afraid to make a move on guys. Although I usually don’t recommend it, there are some guys out there that are shy and need a pretty big sign before they start making the move (ASIAN GUYS ESPECIALLY). The best way to let a guy know that you are interested is to ASK HIM if he wants to hang out. You don’t need to make it a big deal or call it a date. Just ask him if he wants to go get some lunch or a coffee and get to know him. Men believe that it is very “refreshing” when women ask them out. However, if you really can’t initiate it, or are too shy, you should give him an opportunity to ask you out. For example, telling him that you are really bored or telling him you can’t wait to see a certain movie.
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1) Be Bubbly
Laughing a lot, making cute expressions, and being the life of the party are surefire ways to get noticed by guys. Being bubbly also helps present your personality as a warm, friendly, very nice person, which is extremely attractive. You probably know a few girlfriends that are the definition of “bubbly.”
It’s also been shown that heightening the pitch of your voice is more attractive subconsciously to men. Other girls may call you “annoying” or “fake” when you do this, but don’t worry about the haters. Many women even subconsciously will heighten their pitch without knowing it, as it definitely makes them appear more bubbly.
A cute smile really goes a long way. That’s why girls like Hyori Lee are so well received by men. Just look at that sexy smile.
Think of it this way. You’re the girl who is always happy and always wants to make other people feel good. You are very social, talkative, sweet people that just immensely brighten up people’s days. Be that girl and you will find yourself with a lot of options in the man department.
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Written by Steven Lin