How did one daughter’s decision to do porn affect her life within a conservative Chinese family? We dug deep into the life of porn star Miko Dai, and the interview was absolutely salacious.
There are a lot of people with preconceived notions about the porn industry and its performers. That’s to be expected considering that pornography is a very taboo subject. But the reality is that many of these girls are very much like you and me.
Miko Dai is one of the girls that surprised me. The term “the girl next door” is pretty damn cliche, but it’s the best way I could describe Miss Miko Dai. As an Asian kid I did have a few neighbors who resembled Miko. She reminded me of one of the girls who went to my Chinese tutoring class and got better grades than me, except she’s also in Hustler magazine (she actually is in the November 2015 edition).
She was educated at Emory and double majored in both Chinese Language Studies & Economics. She also happens to be a streamer on Twitch.tv, a platform where you can show off your video game playing skills to a live audience. Since our interview, she has started moving away from porn and is now looking to become a full-time streamer on Twitch.
With her educational background she reminded me a lot of Jeremy Long, another Asian porn star we interviewed who was educated at Berkeley.
This interview was fascinating because we went very in-depth about the porn industry, how it’s affected her life & personal relationships, and we even discussed a little bit about Chinese parenting in general. Overall we got as philosophical as we possibly could while talking about porn.
How did you get into porn?
I got into porn the summer after my first year of Law School. I saw an ad on Craigslist for $5000 to shoot a couple scenes in Miami. So I went down to Miami and started shooting. I got scouted by an agent and kept on shooting. I didn’t want to go back after I got a taste of independence. I didn’t want to go back to law school, something I really didn’t want to do.
How did you even think about getting into porn? How did that thought process come about?
Well initially it was about money so I started stripping. From there I went into escorting. Because of that progression it was easy for me to get into porn. I was already in the sex industry. I quit escorting after a while and then got into porn. I liked it a lot more because it’s much more regulated — everyone gets tested all the time for STDs which actually makes it much safer than having casual sex partners.
If you think about it, the sex industry isn’t different from how we operate in real life. Just think about it. A guy can pay for a nice Rolex to get sex, or he can just pay to get laid. It’s all the same. Guys are always trading money for sex or love or whatever it is.
But there’s a strong stigma against the sex industry, but not against buying Rolexes.
Yes, however, you should realize that it’s all based on the judeo-Christian values that are inherently in our system, an outdated methodology based on values that we don’t really even hold anymore. As a Chinese person I’m not religious. Why should I follow an outdated conservative ideology? Just because someone said that it’s shameful. Just because someone said that you’re supposed to only have sex with someone you love. It’s supposed to be private.
People love to marginalize sex workers. People love to blame sex workers. But once you think about it, all we’re doing is satisfying a market need. People need sex. People need porn. We’re in a capitalist society that shouldn’t be bogged down by these types of old ideologies.
What do you need to learn in order to be a porn star?
I think the most important thing to learn as a porn star is to let go of your self awareness. A lot of the performing thay we do is not “sexy” or “attractive” — at least in the conventional way. A good performance usually involves spitting, drooling, cum play, gagging, and sometimes hitting/bondage/whipping etc– porn sex and movie sex are two completely different things. When I first started, I was way too self aware and it showed in my performances. I had to learn to let go and be as dirty, grimy, and carnal as I could.
Where is your porn career going right now?
To be honest I only see myself in porn for another 5 years max, and probably only a couple more years. The great part is that it gave me opportunities to market myself and make money. However, the industry isn’t very easy and has been weighing on me in certain areas like my family. Who knows what will happen but I don’t think I’ll be in porn for much longer than a few years.
Have their been any instances in the porn industry where you questioned why you were still in it?
Yes there have been– I was PAing on a porn set one time and it was a double penetration scene. One of the girls in the scene and the male talent got in a fight in the middle of the scene. The girl was crying and the guy was yelling at her, but thy still had to finish the scene. Watching a colleague of mine getting fucked in the ass with tears in her eyes was jarring. I saw a more unforgiving side of the industry and it made me rethink a lot of things.
How do you feel about sex in your personal life now? Has being in porn changed your view of the sex you get without pay?
Sex has changed in my personal life. I don’t have as much casual sex anymore, since I don’t see the point in fucking someone for free when I get paid to do it. Now when I sleep with someone aside from work, it’s more meaningful.
What about your parents? Did you think of them when making your decision to pursue porn?
Well obviously at first I wanted to hide it from them. They didn’t know I was in the sex business at all. Unfortunately, an ex of mine outed me out to my parents. He was frustrated that I had blocked his number and wasn’t responding to him at all.
So the story is that one day my parents called me into the living room. They had printed out a bunch of pictures of me. Including a picture of me with a dick in my mouth. The way they approached me was by saying, “Is this you?” Keep in mind this is all said in Chinese. In my mind I was like, “WTF you obviously know it’s me.”
Then they revealed that my ex had told them about it. What’s strange is they approached it in a very calm way. They said it like, “Wow, you’re just going through this phase. Come back to us and we’ll help you.” They didn’t get (too) angry or anything like that.
Of course the problem was that as a person who wanted to explore different sides of myself, sexually and creatively, I didn’t want to become that lawyer they wanted me to be. I told them I was going to pursue porn and that’s when they cut me off and now I’m estranged from my family. That’s very tough. Very very tough for me.
I chose to move out to LA. I understand that I’ve lost my family from this. I’ve lost a part of my life. I do have a fear that one of their friends might hear about what I’ve done. Chinese culture is a very shame-oriented culture. My worst fear is that my mom might commit suicide because of that. My aunt told me that my mom might commit suicide if she ever found out.
But this is where it’s not fair. It’s not fair that my parents are basically saying to choose them or my dreams. It’s not fair that Chinese parents would take things so far as to try and threaten suicide because I have a way of life that’s not the typical way.
Of course I understand that being a porn star is quite extreme, but I think the same principle could be applied for anyone with Chinese or Asian parents who want to take a different route. It sucks that you would lose your parents support just because you want to chase a dream or a goal. But at the end of the day it is my life and I know I wouldn’t be happy being a doctor or a lawyer or accountant or having a 9-5 desk job. Not everyone is born to type numbers in the calculator, and its something our parents need to understand.
Would you want your daughter to do porn?
If I had a kid I don’t think I would support my kid in porn. I wouldn’t ever go to the lengths that my parents have, but I don’t think I would feel good about my kid in porn.
Isn’t that very hypocritical since you’re a porn star?
No because I’m not looking to have a kid. I understand my industry and I know that as a parent I wouldn’t want my kid to be in porn. But I’m too selfish to have a kid. You have to hemorrhage money for the rest of your life.
Do you have any regrets about the porn industry?
I’ve never regretted it. I don’t think the porn industry is bad or evil. It serves a need in our world. But I have made the personal decision now to distance myself away from porn to focus on other things. Right now I’m working on my streaming site via Twitch. You can check me out at Twitch.tv/miko_mei
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Written by Editorial Staff