What type of girls do you date? Sorry, what type of girls do you want to date?

We all have preferences when it comes to the physical from hair color (natural or not) all the way down to ethnicity. I am no different. I have a preference for white girls and it seems I’ve managed to find ones who are open to dating Asian guys. In fact I haven’t dated an Asian girl since high school and I’m 33 now. With that being said, I think I just may know why I’ve been able to date White girls when so many other Asian guys struggle to do so.

First let me preface that I in no way have anything against Asian women. I see beautiful Asian women daily. I see cute kittens at the pet store too, but I’m still a dog lover and will never own a cat. You’ve just been prefaced.

Secret #1 — Look at your surroundings. Are you hanging out only in Chinatown? J town? K town? Branch out. Explore other areas that aren’t predominantly Asian. Get out of your comfort zone. Country line dancing bar? Don’t worry because after enough shots you won’t care that you don’t know the steps to the dance. It’ll just increase your chances of accidentally shimmying into the blonde to your right when you were supposed to slide to the left. Or go to literally any Starbucks in the country (If you can’t meet a white girl there then they must all be sick that day).

Secret #2 — Look at your friends. Do you hang out exclusively with Asians? Take inventory of your close group of friends. Are you a diverse group? The easiest way to meet new people is through mutual friends. It’s hard to meet girls who aren’t Asian if you only hang out with Asians who only hang out with Asians. In my close group of friends I am the only Asian. It helps me stand out when we go out the same way cute girls stand out when they’re surrounded by their not so cute friends. I’m not saying dump your BFFs for a group of random multicultural friends, but be open to diversifying your circle. So next time Caucasian Steve from the accounting asks if you want to catch the game take him up on it. He might even have a hot sister.

Secret #3 — White people are just people and White Americans are just Americans like you and me. We live in the same pop culture social media driven world. Our values may differ, but so what? My values differ from my brother’s. Ethnicity doesn’t automatically mean compatibility. That’s why we go on dates, to learn more about one another and see how it fits into our system. Sure the misstep on the dance floor may have gotten you a number but it doesn’t guarantee happily ever after. The point is if you approach them as anything more than just ordinary people you’ll end up alienating them and kill any chance you may have had.

Secret #4 — Talk to people. It’s so simple. If you see a girl who catches your eye go up and talk to her. What’s the worst thing she can say? No? Actually I guess the worst thing she can say is that she hates Asians but really that’s just a terrible way of saying no so she can just go fuck herself. I know it’s scary but nothing you want in life should be easy and if it is then you must not be setting your sights very high. It takes practice too but I’ve learned that as long as you’re sincere it will translate. Girls have this unique ability to see through the bullshit so just be you and ask about her day. I’ve got a friend who will talk to any and every girl that passes by him throughout his day. He jokes around that he strikes out a lot but guess what? He also gets more dates than any guy I know just because he takes the first step and talks to girls. I can personally guarantee you that your chances of getting a date immediately increase if you say hi to the girl waiting for her pumpkin spice mocha Frappuccino than if you say nothing and walk out.

Now you know my secrets. They’re not so much secrets as they are common sense. If you want to be successful you need to put yourself in positions to succeed. The same applies for dating so start practicing your two-step, buddy.

Written by Tubbs