So I’ve gotten this question from the Amped Asia forum members, and I like the topic. I will be making more articles based on questions that you send me (steven_lin@ampedasia.com).
So how do you make a girl your girlfriend? A lot of it really depends on the situation at hand. Many relationships at the High School or College level come about from hanging out with mutual friends, at school activities, group activities, parties, or events. Usually these relationships will be the cause of both people spending quite a bit of time with each other and realizing that they do want the other person in their lives as more than a friend. In this type of a relationship, one person will usually just confess his or her true feelings to the other when they feel the other person may reciprocate the same feelings or just when they can’t hide it any longer. Truth be told, this is probably the best way to start a healthy relationship, especially in college or in High school where it is easy to be part of a social circle.
A more traditional relationship would be where a man courts a woman through dates after meeting her someplace (most relationships actually begin in the workplace). Generally, most women will know by the first date whether they want to be with a man. Men, on the other hand, will know in their heads after just meeting a girl and may change their mind come the first date.
When asking a girl that is not your girlfriend for dates, it is advisable that you don’t actually make it something too out of the ordinary. I personally prefer the coffee date (or in my case, the Tapioca tea date) because it is a non-threatening easy date that allows you two to have some conversation. Don’t try to aim for something that is too try-hard like a fancy dinner. Avoid movie dates as well because they are awkward and not good for gauging personalities. I could cover first dates in a whole article, but I’ll just give you one tip. You can’t ask for a first date until you’ve either expressed direct interest in her (ie – telling her that you think she’s cute) or she’s shown a lot of interest in you. Without this direct interest, it becomes easier for a woman to place you in her “friend’s zone.”
Depending on how the first date goes, you have a lot of options. The best option would be to take her back to your place and see where it goes from there. Tell her you have a DVD you just bought and ask her if she wants to watch it. Gauge how she reacts to your physical touch. The more receptive she is, the more likely you can kiss her. The more likely you can kiss her, the more likely you can get her in bed. The more likely you can get her in bed, the more likely she wants a relationship (but nothing is set in stone).
Before I became a master at dating, I was always wondering how to figure out if a girl wants you to be her friend or her boyfriend. The real key here is to start flirting with her immediately after first meeting. Physical touch, plus compliments lets her know that you’re interested in her. Add in confidence and non-clinginess and you’ll be set for escalating your relationship from friend to boyfriend. You can’t go too overboard with the compliments or the physical touch. Give the interaction just a hint of mystery. If you’ve already begun flirting with her, she will then expect you to make a move. On the other hand, if your interactions thus far have just been the friendly interaction you might have between platonic buddies, you may actually surprise her when you make a move. By showing your interest, this also usually removes any chance that she thinks of you as “just a friend” if you’ve already gone out on a date. This also gets rid of that period where you guys are coming back from a coffee date to your apartment and you’ve popped in a DVD and you’re trying to figure out if she wants to be kissed or just left alone.
In general, I can usually get a girl to be my girlfriend after the first date or at least by the third date. I have a few pretty slick maneuvers that I love to use as well, but these will be covered in an e-book that I’m releasing later. I will say that sometimes I just date multiple girls for a long period of time to see which one I might be interested in.
If you’re having trouble sealing the deal with chicks, then it’s time to broaden your horizons. Start dating more girls and experimenting with different things. Only with practice can you perfect the art of dating.
Written by Steven Lin