The #1 problem that girls complain about is that guys are TOO CREEPY. Here are 6 behaviors that you HAVE to avoid in order to get the girl.
Let’s take a moment out of our day to discuss an epidemic of astronomical proportions in today’s technologically advanced and social media driven world: creepy dudes. What is a creepy guy? That guy in the trenchcoat who stares at women on the bus. That weird dude at work who always tries to touch the women who work there. That guy who won’t stop calling a girl 20 times a day. That guy who keeps sending roses to a girl he’s not even dating. That guy who loves to send dick pics.
Yes, that guy. You don’t want to be that guy.
Most men who have trouble with women fall into one of two categories: either they are too scared to approach a woman properly, or they have balls of steel and just don’t know what to say. Creepy guys fall into this second category. They might have all the courage in the world, but they just don’t know what to do or when to stop.
And this makes women EXTREMELY uncomfortable.
But you’re a good guy. You want to date women, you want to romance them, you want to have a good time, and you don’t want to send them running in the opposite direction. So I’ve polled all of my closest female friends for their least favorite creepy guy behaviors to help you avoid being a creepy dude, and here are our top six picks:
1) DON’T blow up her inbox.
She’s not going to be smiling if you’re blowing up her inbox.
I get it, you just met a new girl and all you want to do is talk to her. You want to know everything about her. You ask her how her day went, but she doesn’t respond. So you ask her if she’s still at work. Then if she has plans after work. Then if she got home okay. Then why she’s not responding. Then if she’s okay, because you still haven’t heard from her. When she finally plugs in her phone charger and turns it back on (because of course it died at work when she forgot her charger), she sees a string of 20 desperate messages from some stranger she just met. Congratulations, you look like a stalker.
DO: Ask her how her day went, tell her a funny joke, and make plans to see her on Saturday. Texting a pretty girl is not the problem; demanding to monopolize her time and not respecting her space is. The key here is moderation. I don’t like to see more than 2-3 messages in a row from a guy I just met, because I have a life and can’t always respond immediately. Give her time to respond. If she’s not responding to your messages after several hours, she’s not interested, and blowing up her inbox isn’t going to help matters.
2) DON’T tell her your life story.
Cuz she’s going to be crying… in boredom
Every girl has one of these stories. She went out to the club with her friends and a cute guy approached. She was single, so she was excited. Then he started talking. And talking. And talking. About that time his little brother got stuck in a tree and they had to call the fire department. When his cat died when he was 10. When he failed that test in high school. When he bought his first car. That party he threw at graduation. Getting his first job. What started out great quickly fizzled and died when she realized that he was so busy talking about HIMSELF he just wouldn’t shut up and let her get a word in edgewise.
DO: Tell her about that hilarious thing that happened when you and your buddies took a spring break vacation in college. But then pause to take a breath and let her respond. Better yet, get her talking about herself and not about you. By droning on and on like a broken record, not only are you boring this poor girl to death, you’re also running out of stories you could have told her some other time and are telling her things she might not need to know (like the fact that you wet the bed until the age of 12).
3) DON’T Facestalk her.
Our technological generation has made it easier than ever to find someone’s online accounts. If you have Facebook Messenger, when you add a number to your phone it will automatically give you the link to a Facebook profile linked to that number. Great, right? Maybe not. I’ve given my number to guys on OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish, only to turn around and find them adding me on Facebook… then liking my profile picture… then that status I posted yesterday… the one before that… the one from two days ago… that picture from last month… and every single photo or status I ever post. If it goes up, I can count on them to show up too. The problem? This looks like you’re tracking her every move.
DO: Add her on Facebook… IF you ask her first. It’s a little creepy to randomly add a girl whose number you just got because this looks like you’ve tracked her down, and it’s even worse to start combing through all her things. If something is funny, don’t be afraid to comment. Social media exists for interactions and this will help her and her friends get to know you better. But resist the urge to show up everywhere she is online, or I can guarantee you she and her friends will have a group chat going about that stalker dude who creeps on her profile and who she’s never going to date (you).
4) DON’T be possessive or controlling.
You met a new girl at the club last night. She’s into you. She’s insanely hot and you feel like a lucky bastard for getting her to talk to you, because you are. You’re the BOSS. But then you see pictures of her with some other guy from the club on her Instagram, and it makes you mad. She was talking to YOU, who is THAT? You invite her to a party you’re going to next weekend, and some other dude who shows up goes over and talks to her. What gives? You pull her aside and tell her you don’t like her talking to these guys. You don’t want her associating with other guys at all, she needs to focus on you 10000%… and she never calls you back.
DO: Give her space. It’s normal to have some (SOME!) possessive tendencies and expectations on a girlfriend, especially if she has a creepy friend who is always trying to be more than just a friend, but this girl isn’t your girlfriend, and you have ZERO room to be possessive over her. Maybe that guy at the club was her gay best friend. Maybe the guy at the party was her brother. You don’t know that and frankly it doesn’t matter. Trying to tell her who she can hang out and associate with is only going to scare her off and make you look insecure, because not only is it creepy when you’ve literally just met her, it’s also one of the signs of an abusive relationship.
5) DON’T overdo it with flashy gifts and expensive dates.
You did everything right. You met an insanely hot girl, you had an incredible conversation, SHE even asked for YOUR number, and things went so well you decided to invite her out on a date. She’s a classy girl, and you want to do it right, so you take her to the most expensive restaurant in town for a lobster dinner and you greet her at the table with a bouquet of a dozen rare Viceroy tulips and a box of imported handmade chocolate. She looks uncomfortable through the dinner, so you order a bottle of champagne hoping it will help her relax. She doesn’t kiss you at the end of the night, and she declines your offer for a second date. What did you do?
DO: Start slow and then work your way up to the magnificent. Ask any woman what she thinks is going on when a woman shows up for a fancy date with rare flowers, imported chocolate, and champagne. I bet you a Ferrari she says the woman is there to get proposed to and not for a first date. The problem is that these things are nice, but it’s too much too soon. You probably don’t want to start out by taking her to Taco Bell, but going over the top too early in a relationship looks creepy because it sends the message that you took care of her and now you’re going to expect her to take care of you—if you invested that much in her, what are you going to expect her to do for you at the end of the night? She will feel like she has to either step up to the plate or let you down, and that’s creepy because it makes her feel like she has no other choice when you just spent hundreds of dollars on her.
6) DON’T become too sexual too soon.
You’ve listened to all the pickup gurus and the dating kings and they’ve all told you one thing: if you want to get laid, you’re going to have to escalate sexually. The next time you meet a pretty girl at Starbucks, you’re thinking about this advice. You start talking, you ask her for her number, and you think you’re going to seal the deal by reaching out for her hand and then sliding your hand up her arm like the coy player you are so you can flick the hem of her shirtsleeve and comment on how amazing she looks in that dress. She pulls away from you and gives you a weird look, but you figure you’ll text her later. You do, but she never responds. What a bummer!
DO: Escalate when the time is right. If you’ve got her out on a date, things are going well, she’s laughing, she’s leaning into you, she touches your arm, it’s time to pull her in for a kiss. If she kisses you back, awesome, invite her back to your place. Sexual escalation is a powerful trick and it definitely has its place, but if you try touching all over a girl you’ve just met or if you keep pushing her boundaries when she shows clear discomfort at your advances, do you know where you end up? Right next to the guy who sent her dick pics as soon as he got her number. That’s a lonely place to be, my friend.
Written by Cindy Young