Who’s sitting at home watching Pornhub this Valentine’s Day?

Well, it’s that time of year again, when all your guy friends are preparing for romantic weekends with their girlfriends and you’re just sitting at home watching reruns of your favorite TV shows. But what if I told you that this year can be different? What if I told you that not only is it possible to have fun as a single guy on Valentine’s Day, it’s also VERY EASY to hook up with a hot girl on this day.

WHAT?

Believe it or not, there are tons of women who will be spending this holiday alone. And just like you, they don’t want to stay home and eat an entire bag of Doritos by themselves while dominating Netflix. They want to go out, have fun, meet new people, and have crazy sex, just like you.

Valentine’s Day is AWESOME for singles! If you’re ready to spend your Valentine’s Day having fun with beautiful women instead of your left hand, check out these five rules for picking up women on National Rebound Day.

If she wakes up in your bed, I hope your bed doesn’t have that much pink on it

1) Know thy female. Certain girls are easier than others.

First thing’s first—what type of woman goes out by herself on Valentine’s Day?

Usually, two types:

1) The broody, angsty female who is jealous that all her friends are out.

2) The happy go lucky girl ready to make the best out of all her friends dumping her for the night.

I’m sure you can already figure out which one is a better target to try and pick up for a little Valentine’s Day fun.

While it’s absolutely possible to bring either of these females home, the broody girl is out and angry because she’s not having fun and she has nothing else to do, so she will have more barriers to overcome. Depending on what has her so upset about the holiday (maybe a recent breakup), she might go as far as to blame all her problems on you just because you’re a man. Certainly a trophy worthy conquest, but not necessarily the most fun way to spend a Saturday night. This girl is NOT FOR BEGINNERS. If you’re not up for climbing a mountain, look for a girl who is smiling (she’s more likely to be the type who is ready to make the most out of her lonely holiday) or who is with a group of her female friends (you know this girl is a social creature). The broody girl may be caustic or angry and responds best to a sarcastic and anti holiday approach in order to crumble her Berlin Wall of Screw Men and Screw Love, but the happy girl will just be happy to socialize.

2) Boost her self esteem.

When a man is single on Valentine’s Day, he’s lucky because he gets to avoid the expense of flowers and chocolates. But when a woman is single on Valentine’s Day, there must be something wrong with her. This is what it’s like in Girl World. The women you run into might look happy, but inside they could be feeling unsure of themselves.

Is she pretty enough?

Do guys even like her?

Is there something wrong with her?

These are all things going through her head as she watches bouquets of roses show up on her coworkers’ desks while hers stays empty. This is not the day for an indirect approach. Instead, go direct. Compliment her. If she’s absolutely gorgeous, tell her. If she’s wearing a killer dress, tell her that she makes it look stunning. Declare that it’s a crime no man was smart enough to take her out that night. Make her feel like the funniest, most beautiful girl in the room and you’ll wash away her insecurities about being alone.

3) Remember that it’s National Rebound Day.

Do you know why they call it National Rebound Day?

Because people throw caution to the wind and figure they might as well have as much fun as their couples friends. There’s a lot of sex going on. A LOT. And the majority of it comes with no strings because women are only looking to not be alone on the sexiest holiday of the year. And do you know who gets laid on National Rebound Day?

The guys who make it FUN.

There are singles parties, parties that burn effigies of cupid, and a lot of people laughing at the commercialism and stupidity of the whole shebang. These people MOCK the holiday rather than being miserable that they don’t fit in.

Mocking the holiday distracts them from the fact that society sees singles on Valentine’s as rejects, and it’s fun. Don’t be afraid to join in. It’s a hell of a lot more fun than moping.

That girl who is smiling and laughing like she’s trying to make the best of a lonely holiday? She’s probably still got a burning ember of jealousy inside that her lady friends are out having romantic dinners. So mock the holiday right along with her and make her realize she isn’t missing out on much. Make her laugh. Make her realize it’s stupid to dwell on her friends when they’re stuck at Olive Garden and she’s out partying. You’ll boost her mood, improve her attitude, and make her grateful that this fun, mysterious guy showed up to save her night.

If you play your cards right, you might be seeing this view.

4) Hit up the clubs.

Do not—I repeat, DO NOT—try to pick up women at a bar this night. You’re only going to find two types of people, desperate lonely men and miserable women. If you’re reading an article about picking up chicks on Valentine’s Day, I’m going to assume you aren’t gay, and honey, trust me when I say that you don’t want to bring home a girl who is trying to drink her loneliness away.

Instead, hit up the hottest club in town. They’re likely to have a singles party or an anti Valentine party full of people looking to mingle just like you, and at the very least they’re going to be havens for girls who are looking to have fun and be distracted. If there’s not a game on TV, bars are just depressing. But clubs are loud, lively, fun, and they play great music. At the clubs you will find the happy girls, the ones who are thrilled to be single, and the ones looking for a little bit of National Rebound Day distraction. Girls will go to clubs to have fun, and you’re it.

5) Throw a house party.

What better way to pick up women on Valentine’s Day than to already have them at your place? Lots of couples will have a dinner party for Valentine’s, but you need to go big or go home. Ban all couples. Singles only. Spread the word. Tell your engaged coworker to invite her single younger sister to your singles rager. Let people bring friends. Invite the hot women you met on OK Cupid but never slept with. Make your place THE place to be. A house party has several advantages over going to a club: people feel like they will know everyone there, there’s usually no cover fee, and it gives you major social credibility. You’re not just some guy at the party; you’re THE party. Not only are women more likely to pay attention to you the night of the party, but if they had fun, your name will go down in history as a partying badass, the guy they need to know if they want to have fun.

6) Bonus: Come out to Belasco Theater (Downtown LA) on Feb 14th for a special Valentine’s Day event. The single ladies will be waiting for you.

We’re hosting a nice little party that is designed to help you meet single Asian women. Email [email protected] or text us 213.537.9810 for guest list and bottle service. Full details will be given to you when you e-mail us.

Models Alice and Elizabeth Tran.

Written by Cindy Young