Tired of using the same pickup lines with less than satisfactory results? Learn these 5 conversation starters to better your game!
If there’s one thing that dating gurus, love consultants, and pickup artists get asked about more than anything else, it’s pickup lines. I can see the appeal. Just a few simple words you have to learn and they unlock all the secrets of making the opposite sex ravish you all night long? Sign me up!
But as someone who has been in the dating industry for many years now, I’m going to let you in on a little secret:
Pickup lines DON’T WORK!
Think about the best pickup line you’ve ever heard of. Where did you read it? In a book? On a website? Taught in a class by a pickup artist? Or perhaps you read “The Game” and thought that surely the most famous pickup artist in the world had something insightful to say about talking to the ladies?
Although there is much to read on him, we didn’t mean this “The Game.”
Now how many other men do you think read that exact same thing and are thinking about using it?
So much for originality. Not a pretty picture, is it? Any reputable pickup artist will tell you to completely dispense with the canned routines and pickup lines simply because if YOU’VE heard about it, SHE has heard about it already.
Talking to women successfully is about originality and genuine conversation, so I’ve come up with a list of five conversation starters that are more effective than any pickup line. If all else fails, you can always start with…
1) “Hi, my name is…”
This is the granddaddy of them all, the oldest pickup line in the book. And that’s because it WORKS. It’s short, sweet, simple, and right to the point. There are no lines to remember. No routines. No moves. If you have a brain fart because you’re nervous or she’s so beautiful and you forget the incredible thing you were going to say 30 seconds ago, it takes no energy to remember and say your name. You literally cannot mess this line up. It also allows you to approach a girl from a neutral, non-threatening standpoint. Call her sexy and her defenses will rise, but introduce yourself in a friendly manner and you’re showing her that you’re a safe pick.
Unless of course this is your name, or if it is Marshal Mathers, or Eminem.
2) Make her laugh.
The easiest way to make a girl laugh is to tell her a joke. This isn’t time for chickens crossing the road, this is the time to give her six pack abs from laughing so hard. But maybe you’re not a funny guy, maybe you don’t know how to tell a good joke. You can always try a comedy improv class at your local community college, or you can try my personal favorite: “I love that dress, I have one just like it!” She knows you’re kidding, and she knows you’re hitting on her, but it’s an innocent way to break the ice that shows her you’re not afraid to be funny. Bonus points: Being able to make a girl laugh is far more attractive than a handsome face. Just look at all the fat and ugly comedians with hot wives and girlfriends.
Probably shouldn’t start off with this joke by the way…
Not so attractive comedians with hot wives theory:Exhibit A Dan Aykroyd.
3) Compliment her.
One of the oldest lines in the book is to tell a girl she’s pretty. It works, because every woman likes to feel good about herself, but it’s also older than your grandma and chances are any girl you use it on is going to brush it aside like the 1000 other guys who told her the same thing last week. It’s sweet, but boring and unoriginal. If you really want to brighten her day, you need to break out a nontraditional compliment that she won’t be expecting. Tell her that she has a beautiful smile, that she looks incredible in floral print. Tell her that her glasses frame her face beautifully. Say you love the drawing on the back of her notebook and you think she’s a talented artist. When women interact with most men, they do it on autopilot. It takes something special to break a girl out of autopilot, so complimenting her in a way she’s not used to hearing allows you to both gain brownie points through making her feel good, and also for your originality.
Although autopilot can be pretty funny sometimes…
4) Ask for her opinion.
Practice in baby steps by asking the girl behind you at Starbucks what she thinks of the leprechaun frappuccino. It’s awkward at first to start conversations in third gear like this, but as you grow accustomed to cold-starting conversations in this way, you can graduate to more intense topics that will generate more passion in a girl and gain you more conversational time. The bigger the opinion, the longer the conversation, and the longer the conversation, the better your chances are of getting her number. Simply saying hello puts the ball in her court, but asking her for her opinion keeps it in yours by drawing her in. Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. And women LOVE to share their opinions. So give a girl that outlet by actively asking for her opinion. Whatever it is, I can guarantee you that she will have something to say.
“Excuse me miss…what are your thoughts on this?”
5) Find something you have in common.
One of the best openers of all time is finding common ground between you and the girl you’re interested in. If you’re running into a random girl on the bus, that can be a difficult thing to figure out unless you see her holding a book you’ve read. Having common ground is very effective because it virtually guarantees conversation fodder (and the longer the conversation, the better your chances are of getting her number), but because it can be difficult to figure out common ground between you and a stranger, this type of opener is best executed in places where group activities are taking place, like at a dog park or on a paintball field. Starting a conversation with a stranger on the street is a stab in the dark. You don’t know what she’s into or what she might want to discuss. But in a social setting you don’t have to figure out what she’s into so you know how to start a conversation, because just by being there she’s already letting you know. Bonus points: women are more open to approaches from men when they are in a social or group setting. Men in a social setting have an assumed pre-approval from the other people there and have less of a stranger factor.
If you see her reading THIS book, then you really have something in common.
Written by Cindy Young