That time of year is approaching again where you look around yourself to see all your guy friends with amazing women at their sides, and you ask yourself why you’re still single. I’ve been there, it sucks. You can try blind dates, but there’s no guarantee your friends will pick a good girl for you. You can try online dating, but a lot of those girls never write back to you. You want to try something different this year, something where there are lots of girls to choose from, but no anonymous computer screen for them to hide behind and ignore you.
Welcome to the world of club girls.
After you read this article, you’ll be ready to hit on girls the next time you come to one of our parties.
I know that the thought of going to a club can be scary at first. Loud music. Strangers. No safety net. But meeting girls in a club has a lot of advantages, namely that there are literally TONS of girls to choose from and that it’s super-easy to meet either serious girls or have no strings attached. It’s a win-win, a useful tool in any man’s dating arsenal!
And with these four simple steps, talking to girls in a club doesn’t have to be scary or difficult:
1. Picking the Right Girl
When I say you need to pick the right girl, I’m not talking about love and romance. I’m not talking about finding the blondes because you like blondes. This is basic stuff. I’m talking about you recognizing the different types of club girls and what you’ll need to do to approach them.
Next Friday I want you to go to your favorite club and just watch. Walk around for a couple of hours. Pay close attention and you’ll start to notice a couple of different types of girls. Paris Hilton clones with bleach-blonde hair and stripper heels might look hot, but the problem is that they KNOW they’re hot and it’s difficult to approach them unless you’re either equally hot, very skilled with women, or very high in energy.
On the other end of the spectrum, do you really want to approach a girl who looks glued to the wall and like having a conversation with her would be insanely boring? Probably not.
The easiest and most fun girls to approach are those who look talkative and sociable, but who aren’t wannabes. Approaching a girl just because she’s hot runs the risk of trying to talk to the girls who think they’re the celebuqueens of the club; instead, look for girls who are having fun first and are hot second.
2. Having the Right Body Language
Go find one of your good friends. Ask this person if you have any weird little habits that you do without realizing. Maybe you scratch your ears. Maybe you’re always running your tongue over your teeth. Maybe you never make eye contact. Maybe you have a resting bitch face that always makes you look angry, even when you’re not. I guarantee you’ll be surprised at the answer. The point is, sometimes there are things we do unconsciously, and these things can affect how other people look at us, and these things will kill your appeal.
The proper approach is standing straight, chin up, shoulders back, a smile on your face, and NOT fidgeting. It seems simple, but it can be difficult to perfect simply because we have those nasty fidgety habits. This type of body language says that you are a man on a mission who is happy to be there, that you are confident and James Bond himself should be jealous of you. Confidence. Is. Sexy. Slouching, shifty eyes, quivering lips, resting bitch face, fidgeting, these things are all only going to make you look nervous, and that sends up major red flags.
When girls see nervous guys approaching, they either think the guy is creepy or he’s just not worth their time. So if you look nervous, you’re already starting with negative points. So find a good friend and a mirror, practice your approach and your body language, and observe yourself. Make yourself aware of any strange tics and habits you have, and practice your approach until good body language becomes second nature.
3. Starting a Conversation
We’ve all heard some awful pickup lines. Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see! Or… Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Here’s a hint: don’t use them. In fact, don’t use pickup lines at all. Don’t use good ones. Don’t use bad ones. Don’t use prepared material or some cool story you read online somewhere. Girls get hit on more times in a day than you can ever imagine, and I can guarantee that if you got your material from someone else, she’s probably heard it before. You only need to concern yourself with two things: saying something that will make her think, or saying something that will make her blush. Asking a girl for the time is going to get you brushed off quickly; asking a girl for her genuine opinion on a thought-provoking question gets her involved in a conversation that makes it look like you don’t have an agenda, and this makes you both interesting and safe to talk to. The alternative is getting straight to the point by just telling her how beautiful she is and making her blush; she will appreciate the genuine compliment.
4. Sealing the Deal
Assuming you picked a good girl, you kept confident body language, and you had a great conversation because she loved the way you approached her with a genuine question instead of a lame pickup line, what happens at the end of the night when you want to take things outside of the club? That depends. Do you want to see this girl again? Is she potentially girlfriend material? Or are you not feeling her personality, but she’s hot enough that you still want to take her home? If you’d like to take her on a date some time, I urge you to not take her home with you that night. Lots of girls are down for one-night stands, but once she’s crossed that threshold with you, she might ONLY look at you in a sexual way. Instead, ask her for her number and tell her that you enjoyed the conversation so much you’d like to see her again. This establishes that you want more than just sex. On the other hand, if sex is all you’re after then you’re going to need to be more direct. You need to give her a reason to come back to your apartment—either ramp things up sexually at the club so she’s already primed to go, or come up with something awesome at your place that she just HAS to see.
tl:dr?
I know this is a lot of material to absorb, so here’s a club approach cheat sheet to recap and simplify everything for you:
1) Only approach girls who look fun AND hot; anything else is not worth the effort.
2) Be aware of your body language and fidgeting habits.
3) Avoid pickup lines and prepared material.
4) Don’t confuse a future girlfriend with a one-night stand.
And most importantly: relax. The great thing about approaching girls in the club is that if you mess things up, there are 100 other girls there. Don’t worry about things not being perfect; just think of it as an opportunity to improve yourself and start over again with a clean slate next weekend.
When you’re ready to hit the clubs with us, hit us up: eric@vsnightlife.com and ask for information on the next Asian party.
Written by Cindy Young