Asian men are sexy, and this columnist dishes on why she prefers dating Asian men.
People often ask me why I prefer to date Asian men. I’m part Asian, part white, and even though I’m stuck in both cultures, I strongly identify with my Asian side. But simply “being Asian” isn’t a good reason to date other Asians. It’s a cop-out, a lame excuse and a shrug from someone who sticks with the same old, same old even though they have no idea why they do it.
But you wanted to know, and I have an answer. Prepare to laugh. Prepare to cry. And don’t call me when you have to change your underwear because you laughed so hard you peed a little.
So here are my top ten reasons why I prefer to date Asian men:
We’re relatable and share a common language for joking and talking shit.
Sure, I speak English. If I date an American guy, he speaks English too. There’s no language barrier and we would understand each other’s sense of humor with no problems… in English. But there are some things that just don’t translate. There are some phrases, words, and jokes that make a lot of sense in Chinese and would baffle any non-Chinese person. I can’t share these things with your average American guy and expect him to understand, but when I’m with a Chinese guy, not only does he understand all of my jokes, he and I can talk shit around other people without anyone knowing.
Even though I may look White, I actually strongly relate to my Chinese grandmother, and was raised with a lot of Chinese traditions. When my boyfriend can relate to that it gives him a lot of brownie points.
They’re respectful and less likely to treat me like an object.
I’ll start off by saying that not every non-Asian man who likes Asian women has his preferences because of some sick hentai schoolgirl tentacle porn girl fantasy. But that stereotype exists for a reason. For every genuine man out there, there’s another who looks at Asian women and sees nothing more than an accessory to fulfill his sexual fetish. Getting approached by a non-Asian man is a crapshoot; does he like me for me, or does he like me because his Facebook wall is plastered with images of Asian idols and import models, and Asian women are a fantasy for him?
Asian men have a level of respect that I rarely see from men of other races. Yes there are rude and impolite Asian men, but after meeting men of all races I have to admit that I’ve had my best experiences with Asian men. It’s within our culture and DNA and we were raised to behave this way, and it makes for a great match.
Two words: double holidays.
HELL YES. As Chinese Americans, we have the luxury of celebrating all the American holidays AND all the Chinese holidays. Double the good food. Double the fireworks. Double the insanity. Going to a non-Asian guy’s house for Thanksgiving is great, but going to an Asian guy’s house for Thanksgiving AND Chinese New Year is ten times as awesome. And also, who doesn’t love Chinese food during Thanksgiving instead of your usual turkey and mashed potatoes?
They won’t turn their nose up at my cooking.
It’s always good when your man looks like this when he’s eating your food.
Cooking is important to me. I love to be in the kitchen, and I love making Chinese food. But I remember packing Chinese lunches to school as a little girl and having everyone laugh because they thought the food smelled nasty. EVERY Asian kid knows what this is like. If you’re confused, that’s because your exposure to Chinese food is limited to cheap takeout that real Chinese people wouldn’t even recognize as edible. It tastes (and smells) unlike anything else in this world. If I bring home a non-Asian guy, I don’t know if he can handle the authenticity, but when I bring home an Asian guy, I know it’s just like mama used to make.
PS. Nothing is worse than a man that doesn’t know how to use chopsticks.
They age like fine wine.
For some reason (perhaps a deal with the devil, or more likely our better diet), Asians are famous for aging extremely well. I’ve seen Asian men in their late 30s and even 40s who don’t even have a hint of wrinkles yet, and that is AWESOME. Let’s face it, Caucasians don’t age that well, and I don’t want to be with someone who is going to look like a crypt keeper when I still look ten years younger than I am. And when that aging starts to come in and his hair finally starts to go gray, the salt and pepper effect against his jet black hair makes an Asian man look more George Clooney than George Clooney himself.
I can go home to meet his parents.
Sure, a non-Asian guy can take me home to meet his parents. Nothing’s stopping him, unless his dad has a couple of white hoods hidden in the closet. But as open as his parents are to meeting me, things always get awkward, and I get bombarded with well-meaning but bafflingly racist questions. Where are you from? No, where are you really from? What’s your real name? Are you a citizen? Do your people celebrate Christmas? My son can only date Christians, are your people Christian? What are you? (Um, human, I hope.) YES, REALLY. All the above happened when I was dating a nice Caucasian boy a few years ago. I know they for the most part don’t mean any harm, but it feels less like being in a zoo with Asian moms who don’t feel the need to ask those questions.
I don’t know if this is really a thing, but full Asians seem to love hapas like myself. Every Asian mom or dad I’ve met has always thought I was adorable and taken me in as their own.
Because racist jokes aren’t funny anymore.
I have a friend—he shall remain nameless—who thinks that just because he’s dating an Asian woman, it gives him an excuse to be as racist as possible. Ever hear, “I’m not racist, I totally have a black/Asian/Hispanic friend!”? As it turns out, those same people are even WORSE when they actually manage to date someone of that ethnicity. For my friend, he thinks that dating an Asian woman makes up for all the jokes about eating dogs and about how she’s with him because she doesn’t like tiny Asian dick (newsflash: the men making dick jokes are always packing a baby dick). I’ve dated men like this. All Asian women have. Not every non-Asian man does it, but every Asian woman knows one who does. I refuse to be someone’s excuse.
If they forget to shave, it doesn’t feel like being kissed by a Brillo pad.
This one is contentious. Some women like facial hair, some don’t, but for those of us who don’t, the growing hipster movement, No-Shave November, Decembeard, and Manuary are all a dreaded nightmare. As this time of the year approaches, I dread having to see unkempt and scraggly chin pubes rear their ugly heads. My people are not a hairy people. I think I grow three or four hairs on my entire body. Pluck-pluck-pluck, I’m done shaving in 30 seconds. Easy peasy. That’s why I love the fact that when I’m with an Asian man, his face is always velvety smooth and very kissable.
They “get” it.
There’s something about being raised as a member of a culture that you just can’t get from enjoying it and trying to absorb everything you can as an outsider. It’s like trying to learn about sex when you’re stuck with masturbating… close, but no cigar. It can’t be learned. It can’t be purchased. It must be born. I applaud every person who makes an effort to learn about my culture and my heritage. I know it isn’t easy. But as much as they try to learn, there’s just something fundamentally Chinese that they’re missing. It’s not their fault, but that’s the way it is. For people who don’t put a high personal value on their heritage, lacking “it” isn’t a problem. But I prefer Chinese men because I know that they’ll understand me on a deeper level than other men ever will.
They’re sexier to me.
I like Bradley Cooper as much as the next girl. There are some men who are so good-looking that they transcend race. But for me, these are few and far between. Yes, muscles are nice. Taking pride in your appearance is great. More power to you if the ladies hang off of you. But there’s just something about the strong facial features of a good-looking Asian man that draws me in and makes me salivate like no other. Plus, there’s something to be said about the fact that there are over 1 billion Chinese people in this world. Clearly the men are doing something right!
Written by Cindy Young